Music

I know, at least, one of the several purposes music has in this decaying world.

     I am a guy who keeps to himself as much as possible. In a church meeting setting, when in large group circles, normally I step back and make my own 2-3 circle group because I like the intimacy found when you don’t feel the need to give a positive impression of yourself. I don’t believe people when they try to sound as if they have their life under control or when they only share the part of their lives’ stories where they were the hero. I was that person once. Still am, sometimes. I am not Ken, you aren’t Barbie®. Hence, why currently I don’t attend any small group in my local church. They are ‘small groups’ yes, but not small enough. At least for me.

    Multiply my why-I-don’t-attend-small-groups mindset in many other areas of my life and you get a guy who confesses his sins around 2-3 times a year to a very select amount of trusted people, doesn’t like to make small talk with strangers when shopping or at the grocery store, is not invited typically to birthday parties of ‘church friends’, expresses some of his feelings through blog posts and goes to the movie theatre alone. And I enJOY it that way, most of the time. 

    Therefore, you have to believe me when I say, any thing (87% of the time) I allow to enter my brain is because I am curious about it or want it to enter my brain. Usually watch a very limited number of movies per year, I will NEVER EVER ‘binge watch’ on Netflix for any tv show even if the cliff hangers are effin’ amazing. The people who I befriend ( people I want to know more about and not just out of courtesy) is a short list. Truth of my matter is, I don’t believe most humans are producing content for my soul to grow. Mostly, in the social media industry, they like to produce content so they can get views, publicity, clicks, traffic which eventually equals to money and/or fame.  Some may call me a skeptic. I think it’s logical.  Also, I have a twitter account so I can give my funky input to the twitter-verse, not so I can get on the latest, eye-opening Trump tweets, movie spoilers (people still do that?)  or weirdest hashtags (#4picswhereishouldhavebeenin). Same with instagram. Input, input. No output, no output.

    Few things reach the frontal lobe of my brain (that I am aware of) : definitely the girl whom I like, the plot twists in Christopher Nolan movies, whenever I read the Bible( which is not everyday), traffic patterns in the streets I drive daily. Add to that list the music album I currently am dissecting. In this Miami traffic, I drive a good ten hours per week where I definitely have the music on. And add to the 1-2 hours I am in my room throughout the day where music is always on. When I go running, music always on. 

    Apart from knowing I am a guy who keeps to himself, you should, lowkey, keep in mind I NEVER search for the lyrics of a song, nor do I pay attention to it nor do I want to know what the song is about. Song’s title shows on the screen and that’s about it. Do I sing along to it? Yes. Do I make up my own lyrics? Yeah. You know how these artists nowadays aren’t clear in their pronunciation of words. It’s like the thing. I focus on feeling the song. Colors come into mind, the memories I create with that certain album like when you fell in love with a chick on a summer and there was this hit song playing all summer long. The chick may disappear, heck, marry another dude two years later but years later, whenever you hear that song, that summer comes back unconsciously to the frontal lobe of your brain. You created a memory that is extremely hard to erase.

    Not the expert on psychological brain waves or any of the medical slang but I can witness to the fact that music delivers the same things as a powerful painting, a world class-directed movie or a well-written book can deliver: belief. Belief in what? I don’t know, man. For me, it’s the belief that IT IS possible. That I can transform myself slowly but surely so I can assist the humans close to me to be better workers, better human beings, better brothers from other mothers. The belief that I can reach my potential, the purpose for which I was created to carry on in this temporal world you and me live in. There are no boundaries. The belief that we are shackled but we can choose to not be shackled by this world. The belief that we can change if we want to. 

    Last album I have dissected is Lorde’s Melodrama. The memories created with that album are when I am driving to and from work and when I talk with the love of my life.  Most of the times, because of the reality of life and people sucking at what they are supposed to do, or just taking a glimpse at the world news, I don’t believe life will get any better. Without me noticing, I entertain these poisonous thoughts and the future seems to get really blurry, really fast. Am driving home from work, crank up the music. And boy, oh boy, some of Lorde’s melodies in that album captivate my soul in such a powerful way. Teary-eyed, I start singing outloud in the solitude of my car. Finally,”I hear sounds in my mind. Brand new sounds in my mind” and then I remember. I want to believe.
And I do.

Still have no idea what her lyrics are about.